The Fight of a Lifetime
by Sakura-Fan-I-Rule
Summary: Then they were surrounded. Hundreds of them. All hungry. All evil. It would have to be a fight. There was no way around it. This could be the end. Would Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke surivive? Comedy Oneshot. R & R. Rated K . Author Note: It's funny. Read it


**This is a funny oneshot that my friend gave me the idea to write! The real story will be at the end of the page!**

**Summary: Then they were surrounded. Hundreds of them. All hungry. All evil. It would have to be a fight. There was no way around it. This could be the end. Would Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke survive? Comedy oneshot. R & R. Rated K. Author note: It's funny. Read it.

* * *

**

"Hey, Sakura! Look at the squirrel!"

"It's just a squirrel, Naruto. Calm down. They're everywhere."

"Yeah, Naruto, Sasuke's _so _right!" 'What am I kidding? Squirrels are so awesome! CHA!!'

"Look! It's got an acorn! Hi little squirrelly… OW!!" Naruto began running around franticly complaining that the squirrel bit his finger.

"You probably scared it. Maybe if you weren't so annoying it wouldn't have bitten you."

"Oh, shut up, Sasuke!"

"Will you stop yelling at Sasuke? He's totally right and you're an idiot!" Sakura smacked him on the head.

"OW!!!!" Naruto was now rolling on the ground whining about the pain on his head now.

"I really wish Kakashi would show up." Sakura sighed.

"He is always late, it's so ridiculous!" Naruto complained, standing up.

"Hey, you three. Sorry I'm late. I guess I just got lost on the path of life." They all groaned.

"You know, if you're gonna make up excuses, you might as well come up with different ones!!" Naruto shouted.

"Well, that doesn't really matter, now does it? Anyway, our next mission is to feed the squirrels." Naruto and Sakura groaned again.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with." Sasuke rolled his eyes. Sakura instantly stopped complaining.

"Yeah, Sasuke's right! Like always!" she eagerly chimed in.

"Well, let's go then." Kakashi said. They walked to the park after getting some food for the squirrels.

"Can't the squirrels get their own food? How come we have to feed them?"

"I guess the squirrels around here are just too stupid to figure out how to gather acorns." Suddenly, an acorn fell from the tree and hit Sasuke on the head. Everyone just kind of stood there for a second, trying to understand what had just happened. Then Naruto fell over because he was laughing too hard. Sasuke's eye began to twitch and Sakura started yelling things to Naruto about 'You shouldn't laugh at Sasuke, blah, blah, blah.' Kakashi simply sighed at the scene. Sasuke turned around to look up at the tree where the acorn had fallen.

"I can't believe… acorn… you… HAHA!!" Naruto said between laughs.

"Will you shut up?"

"Sorry, but that's just too funny!!!!!" Naruto continued his loud laughing fit and Sakura continued to yell at him. Sasuke looked back up at the tree. There was a squirrel sitting on an outstretched branch looking at him. It almost seemed like it was smiling evilly. Suddenly, he felt something hit the back of his head. He turned and saw another squirrel standing a little ways away next to a pile of acorns. Sasuke started to get suspicious of these acorn attacks.

"Kakashi, something weird is going on with these squirrels."

"What makes you say that?"

"I got hit twice and that squirrel looks like he's plotting something." Sasuke pointed to the squirrel that, of course, instantly made itself look innocent. No one said a word. Then Naruto started laughing his head off again saying Sasuke was going crazy. Great. Just then Sakura stopped in her yelling to say, "Ow!" Naruto looked up at her and was no longer laughing.

"Something just hit me in the back!" She turned and sure enough, an acorn was lying on the ground. Sasuke was hit again: the back of the head. Then Naruto was smacked right in the face by the squirrel that had been sitting by the acorn pile.

"What the? What's up with these squirrels? Is it me, or are they attacking us?" Naruto turned around to look at Kakashi, but he wasn't there.

"Where did Kakashi go?" Sakura asked, before ducking to avoid another acorn.

"Something's wrong with these squirrels!" Sasuke yelled. Then they were surrounded. There were hundreds of them, all hungry, all evil. It would have to be a fight. There was no way around it. This could be the end. Precious seconds passed and no one moved. "We'll have to fight them." Naruto looked at him like he was crazy.

"What? We can't fight them!"

"Sasuke, that's not even an option! This is bad. Really bad." Then it was too late. They all charged.

"We have to move!" Sasuke shouted, jumping over many of the squirrels. He then realized that no one was in the park. Kakashi had disappeared as well. Was this some sort of trap? Naruto was getting pelting with acorns and Sakura was only succeeding in fleeing the fight. It was up to Sasuke. Again. He landed briefly on a branch before shooting himself back down into the fight. He couldn't kill any of them, but he needed to save Naruto from the squirrels! He stopped a moment to think, 'I have to save Naruto from squirrels. That's pretty funny.' He kicked aside the squirrels that were throwing their acorns and scratching his clothes. Then he felt them biting into him. 'I really hope they're all healthy.' He thought. 'Stupid squirrels.' Sasuke ran towards where Naruto was. Or had been. Or… wait, where was he? Naruto was gone as well. What happened? Where was Sakura? The squirrels were overcoming Sasuke. There were just too many of them! Was this the end? Alas, poor Sasuke could no longer fend off the attacked creatures and his teammates had abandoned him. Poor Sasuke would die a painful and embarrassing death. But wait? What was that? Off in the distance Sasuke could hear a voice! Who was it? What was it saying? It slowly approached and Sasuke heard it more clearly. Someone was calling his name! It was… it was… Naruto. Sasuke realized if he wanted one once of his reputation to be intact by the end of this, he better stand up. He pushed the squirrels off of him just in time. Naruto was running up. 'That was close. If Naruto had seen me losing to the squirrels I'd have been a goner!' Naruto looked totally fine, but the squirrels kept attacking Sasuke.

"Hey, how come they're only attacking me!? What did you do?"

"They're mad at you. I know because I can speak squirrel. They told me that they were upset because you said that they were too stupid to figure out how to gather acorns. They wanted revenge."

"Well then what should I do!?" Sasuke yelled, continuing to rip the squirrels away from him. He had stood up by now.

"What's that? Oh, they say that they want you to apologize."

"WHAT!?!?!? Apologize to a bunch of SQUIRRELS!?!? Not on my life!"

"If you haven't noticed, it might just come to that. They also told me that they're saving their rabid squirrels for backup. You should probably apologize." Sasuke was not a happy camper.

"Fine, you want an apology? I'm sorry, now leave me alone!"

"They said it wasn't very sincere. They want you to mean it."

'I. Hate. You." Sasuke glared at Naruto. "I am honestly and sincerely sorry for making fun of you," his eye began twitching, "and I hope you forgive me and spare my life," he began clenching and unclenching his fists, "please, squirrels, stop attacking me and I will never say a rude thing about squirrels again." At long last the squirrels subsided. One squirrel hopped onto Naruto's shoulder and started squeaking.

"Uh, huh. Yeah. Gotcha. See ya later, squirrelly! Oh, for me?" The squirrel handed him an acorn. "Aw, that's so sweet! I'll see you around, then, squirrelly!" The squirrel left. Naruto turned to look at Sasuke who was glaring at Naruto with one eye twitching, clenching and unclenching his fists. Then, he punched Naruto in the face.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Being an idiot and making me apologize to the squirrels. Where in the world did you even learn to talk squirrel?"

"You know, I have no idea…" Sakura was running over. Sasuke was _overjoyed _at this. Note the sarcasm.

"Sasuke, what happened, are you okay?"

"Don't worry, Sakura! I saved him from the squirrels!" Sasuke punched him again.

"Sasuke, do you need anything? I'll get anything you need."

"I need Naruto to crawl in a hole and leave me alone."

"OKAY!" Sakura started chasing Naruto around demanding that he does as Sasuke said. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

In the end, Sasuke and Sakura grew up and got married. Or at least that's what Sakura thinks. Really, Sasuke tricked her into thinking they did, and then she continued serve Sasuke. Naruto ran off to live with the squirrels. He will occasionally sneak into town and buy ramen. By occasionally I mean every day. Kakashi went crazy and is currently living in a mental institution- I mean, a very happy place. I guess every cloud does have a silver lining huh? (The entire cast laughs, like in really bad cartoons.) That was the moral of the story. So go outside and play. Now.

* * *

**That was my comedy oneshot. I hope you enjoyed it. Here is the real story that gave me this idea. This actually happened!**

**A lady was using a phone to call the police on a special phone that wouldn't you're your identity or something and my friend was sitting there with her dad. They overheard the conversation she was having. Technically, some of it is made up, but it went sort of like this.**

**Lady: Hello, I'd like to report that a man wearing a green shirt and jeans is out here putting acorns in a paper bag.**

**Man (On other line): Um, miss, what's your point?**

**Lady: THOSE ACORNS ARE FOR THE SQUIRRELS!!! He should be arrested and I would like you to come over here immediately!**

**Man: I really don't think it's that important, miss.**

**Lady: If this goes unpunished you can be sure that I will tell everyone!**

**Man: All right, all right. What's your name?**

**Lady: I do not have to give you my name! Get someone over here to fix this problem now!**

**Man: Ma'm, I need you to give me your name.**

**Lady: You listen here, mister. I will not give you my name and you will get someone over here now to arrest this man before he gets away with this crime.**

**Man: ………….. (Hangs up)**

**It's kind of unrelated in a way, but it's still the original idea for this fan fiction. Read and review! Also check out my other stories**_** Sakura Blossoms **_**and **_**One Problem After Another. **_

**-Kelsmur**


End file.
